Audrey Caroline, and my personal story.

Here it is, about 7 min 'til 1:00 am. Jumped online around 9:00 to check up on friends and read some e-mails, and yes, I am still here. Many of my close friends know that Josh and I have been trying to add a baby to our family for over a year now, to no avail. Fertility attempts and months have passed with no luck. We had the decision to begin more invasive procedures, but after thinking about it long and hard I decided that I just wasn't ready (not that I wasn't ready for the baby, but that I wasn't ready for the procedures). I have thought about it a lot. A part of me wants to do it. I can smell my new baby. But another part of me is, or was (I am now so embarrassed to say it) Mad! I don't really know why. I have two beautiful babies that are my life, literally. I live for them. Why am I being so selfish? How could I be mad at someone who has blessed me with so much. It is so ironic that I would come across this story today because at lunch I told josh that I was thinking about trying IUI this month. He was kindof taken by suprise, and honesty so was I. I had just taken another pregnancy test the night before and it is such a gut wrenching feeling to see that big fat negative line. I guess that is what got me motivated. But then I would think about it and I would just want to give up on it all. You know, like how kids pout when they don't get their way. "Fine, if I can't get pregnant on my own, I just won't have another baby." Then tounight, I happened to run across a good friend's blog (Bro Mick, to those of you who know). He had a link to the most mind changing story I have ever read. My sleeves are soaking wet from tears falling for 2 hours straight. I have never read a more motivating story in all my life, and it could not have come at a better time. It is the most beautiful story of a journey through pregnancy written by a young mom. The story always hits harder when you can relate. It has definately lifted my thoughts. After I am done posting this link I am going to hug my sleeping babies. We truly are so blessed. When you have a couple of free hours and need a good cry, visit www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com

I'm sorry...it just HAD to be done.

p.s. Shane and Bo are really lucky that they don't have any good pics on their site! Oh, ya, and I'm so sorry Scott. I was actually scared to use your face but I couldn't find another one.

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We're goin undercover!

Due to recent blog stalking, and I mean STALKING, we are going undercover...thank heavens for stat counters! Please leave a comment with your e-mail address if you would like an invite to continue your sneek peek into the Judkins household. Thanks for checking!

OH MY HEATHEN!

Ok, my child is seriously a heathen. I got her out of the bathtub and carried her onto the couch to sit while I ran upstairs to get her some cloths. I came back down and this is what I found. (Yes, she is naked.)

Easter Sunday

Cute little stinkers.

Putting the Mega Mask to good use

Creative, Son.

He kept asking me where to markers were. Next thing I know he comes in the room with a talking belly button. I have no idea how he thought of this.

Button Picture

Who knew that a little bottle of glue and a pile of buttons could be so entertaining?

Baby bed

Kamdynn found this changer that sits on top of the pack and play from when she was a baby. For some odd reason she thinks that it is a baby bed. So, she has me put it on the couch and buckle her in it while she watched TV. She says that she is going to sleep???. I guess I know that she won't be getting into anything.

Face Plant

Doesn't it look like he fell asleep and just fell flat on his face?

What?

I have found it to be an effective punishment for my children to sit on the toilet wearing a garbage bag. Ok, ok. It's really just a haircut.

Marker Fight.

They were coloring so quietly. I should have known something was wrong.

Magic Mud

Ty and KJ have been so bored the last couple of weeks. It's always rough when daddy goes back to work for the season. So I have been trying to think of things for them to do. I remembered making this growing up and knew that they would love it. It is called "magic Mud". It is a mixture of Cornstarch and water. We added coloring too because I know Ty would like it. Then you stir it all up and dig in! When the mud is moving it turns to a solid, but when you let it rest it turns into a liquid. It is actually pretty cool. And I know that this looks like a huge mess, and it is, but it is really easy to clean up becuase it is all water soluable.